Your biggest dream is also your biggest fear
12 05 2008Currently playing: How Am I Supposed To Live Without You – Micheal Bolton
I really love this song!
I consider myself as a very lucky person because most of the time I will have no problems to get anything that I want. Most of the time… Not all the time. And due to that, my siblings and also my cousins adore me so much. They always wanted to be like me. They tell me they want to challenge me. Even my 5 years old brother (Nabil) wants to go to UIA cus he wants to study with me. I don’t even know what UIA is when I was 5! FYI, I am such a numb and lumpy little girl when I was a kid. I know nothing except for Sugar Bun fried chickens! ;D
International Islamic University Malaysia (IIUM/UIAM) was one of my biggest dreams last time. After finished my high school, I didn’t apply for other universities except for UIA and alhamdulillah, I got what I wanted. The moment I entered Matriculation Centre of IIUM, I feel happy to embark my new life as a pre-university student but honestly, it was a little bit scary. Throughout my life in matriculation centre, my journey wasn’t that easy. I encountered with a lot of new cultures which are totally aliened to me.
I don’t know for Muslims, we need to perform the cheek to cheek kissing for three times. I don’t know it is compulsory to wear a petticoat inside if you wear a skirt although it is not transparent! I don’t know it is compulsory for the female to wear socks in order to cover the feet (aurah). I don’t know it is considered as a wrong conduct if we wear a t-shirt that only covers till the buttock, at which only a knee-length t-shirt is allowed. And a lot more restrictions which drives me nuts! It was such a huge shock to me and I really hate those people who consider themselves as ‘good people’. Those who wears the big head scarf, baggy dresses and bla bla bla, you know what I mean right? They never accept me as they way I am and they way they treat me makes me clueless. How am I supposed to adapt with all the ridiculous things in such an instant time?! I really hate my life back in matriculation centre. But my life now is totally different! I am having lotsa fun here! Heheh.. This is the true dream that I always wanted! And my dream isn’t a fear, anymore. 
Well, this isn’t the thing that I want to write tho!
Okay, back to the thing I was thinking to write earlier. What I am trying to say by ‘Your biggest dream is also your biggest fear’ is that, sometimes in order to achieve something that we wanted so much in this life, we need to sacrifice a few things in order to get it or to succeed. Or sometimes, even the journey towards that success itself is quite troublesome. It makes you worrying to much on it. It makes you wonder if it will all be worth it.
Take my brother, Maman for example. He just finished high school and he had applied for Universiti Pertahanan Nasional Malaysia (UPNM) cus he wanted to be somebody in the military field. This is his big ambition since he was in form 3. Sadly, he failed to get the offer for the interview which will determines whether he is qualified to join UPNM or not. He failed to get places from other universities as well, and he even failed to get ALAM! I feel extremely sorry for him. I don’t think he should get through all these situations in order to achieve his dream. Pity him…
Although I know things happened for a reason but seriously, this is too much. I remember 3 years ago, how frustrated he were when he failed to get the place in Royal Military College just because he lacked of 1A for his PMR examination.
Hm.. *sigh*
Or may be he is given with a lot of tests from the Almighty before he achieves his dream. So that he will appreciate it more in the future…
I hope so.
“Ya Allah, I beg you to grant my brother his dream. He deserves kindness from You. I want my brother to be successful. I want my brother to achieve his dream!”
I hope his biggest dream isn’t a biggest fear after all.
me teringat rakan me dulu2 maser interview nak jadi askar kat kem sg besi.. sampai kena telanjang gittewww.. rakan me tak berjaya jadi askar.. tapi dia sudah berjaya dgn kerjaya yg dia ada sekang.. insyaAllah, maman akan berjaya jugak disuatu ari nanti.. aminn
hi sis.
Maman is a great athlete. heh.
so, how’s Maman now? hope he’s doing fine
“I don’t know for Muslims, we need to perform the cheek to cheek kissing for three times. ”
Those things you wrote, on what to wear, what to do bla bla bla.. more like rituals than anything, don’t you think? You should read an article by RPK on this. Difference between fardu ain and fardu kifayah, and how Muslims in Malaysia seems to focus too much on ‘gaya’ and rituals then really practice the life as a good Muslim. In the first place, judging other Muslims from what they wear, what not to wear, how this that.. does not sound like a good believer to me
ps: seriously i find these thing very ridiculous.. pardon me. wrong conducts? more like bigoted interpretations..
especially that ‘knee-length t-shirt’ and ‘wearing a petticoat inside’. where they got all this things from??
en_me I know, bukan senang nak jadi askar. Kena kuat mental and physical tho! But it is all about the passion. If ada passion, teruk mana pun kita akan enjoy jugak
as long as it makes kita happy kan? and thank you en_me, kite pun harap maman akan berjaya jugak. he deserves to berjaya..
fara He’s alright but when I was at home during the last break, I asked him about his back-up plan(s) in case he failed to get any unis and he answered me with a cry! Hmm.. Kesian. But, I’ve sent an appeal letter to UPNM although they said they won’t entertain it. At least I’m giving it a try, right?
bongkersz Yes, it is some kind of rituals yang diada-adakan. Cus I never knew about all these stuffs. Plus, we never been taught about all these things too back in school. But for some cases like wearing the knee length t-shirt and wearing socks, yea, I think I’ll consider about it as I don’t want people to have a thought that I am displeased with the way a Muslimah should be dressed. I know, the reason why we need to cover our aurah properly. It shows modesty, and it shows the true submission to Allah.
But those people never let me to do it bit by bit. I am trying to change, and that was just my beginning and they should understand it. Sometimes, someone’s background should be taken as a consideration as well before you start with all the do’s and don’t’s.
And yes, who are you to judge?!
About that petticoat, one word from me: STUPID! C’mon la wey, we are not wearing a transparent skirts!
nono, here is the article as requested by you
a good read!
I hope he’ll get a better shot next time. I’m sure God has His own plans for him. Yeah? Haha.. I just prayed for him actually!
i’m speechless! smoga dia tabah mhadapisemua ni kak nono!
bongkersz thank you.. i think i’ve read it somewhere before.. in someone’s blog. and he was just right.
gaTO gary oh gary! insha Allah.. probably it is just a matter of time. and thank you for the prayer. god bless you!
saffa i’m not sure whether maman is tabah or he tryna acts tabah. but i know he is really frustrated… and you, since you pun lucky jugak, i hope you tak akan take things for granted yea!
*hugs*
Life has a way of channeling us into our designated role. For you, the road was without hurdles because it was the right path (a fulfilling purpose). Your brother’s path is yet to be determined. I have known many who went into jobs, careers, relationships that in the long run were damaging. Life is an experience unfolding at its own pace. we cannot force or manipulate its pace. Your bro will find what is right for him- a be much more happy when he achieves his success.
Thank you again for your post
johnnypeepers Yes, life is full of uncertainties as well as possibilities. Life is the series of choice, right? And as for me, I am hoping that I’m always be in the right track.
And you are most welcome Johnny! Thank you for inviting me to write for you lovely project although my writing sounds childish. ;P
*hugs u back*
Yeah nono, we create a parallel universe (or reality) with every decision we make. Also, small variations of the initial condition of a dynamical system (personal decisions) may produce large variations in the long term behavior of the system (our life’s path). You will be on the right track, no worries.
I don’t think the writing was childish at all. It was very well written and conveyed your views concisely. I note your humbleness though
cheek kissing tu apa ye? saye tak brapa reti english nih..
apis17 contoh bila berjumpa, kita selalunya akan bersalam-salamankan. Pastu.. cium pipi sebelah kiri-kanan-kiri berulang ulang kali…
hye nono..
ohh.. too bad for your brother. but anyway, luck is everywhere. so.. terus mencuba. mungkin ada yang lebih baik di masa hadapan. hoyeah~
johnnypeepers i hope so johnny.
and thank you for the compliments…
AyUmi “hoyeah~” i like it AyUmi! haha.. and thank you for being supportive… yea yea hoyeah~ and my brother dah apply form 6.. lepas stpm dia try UPNM lagi kot. insya allah.